The Art of Conversation

To me Icelanders appear friendly to visitors, but at times you could be forgiven for thinking they are not so friendly to each other. In the bars and cafes that the Icelanders gather in to socialize (excluding Friday or Saturday nights when it appears to be one extreme or the other in terms of friendliness) it is not uncommon to see a couple of people apparently enjoying a great old chat when suddenly one will hop up to retrieve a newspaper or magazine with no warning at all. Since my eavesdropping is only able to tune into body language, I assumed I missed the point in conversation that went, "Excuse me, my dear friend, I just remembered about that article in Morgunbladid that I have been dying to read."

But no. I witnessed at close quarters, as we were all propping up a bar type thing, a couple who were apparently on a date according to the body language. A chap, who at best could be described as punching some distance off his weight, seemed to be enjoying a romantic tête á tête with an astonishingly pretty girl. There was a bit of a lull in the conversation, something a little more than a pause, and definitely no comments along the lines of "Sorry love, your chat stinks" when suddenly the guy hopped off his barstool and returned with a newspaper. His companion sort of shuffled her mobile about a bit, adjusted her skirt, looked a bit bored, and eventually decided if she couldn't beat him, she'd join him, and popped off for her own magazine. After the guy had finished his newspaper, conversation was renewed as if nothing had happened.

Wow. Now I've had some experience of what not to do when enjoying a romantic tête á tête with a nice girl, and I'm fairly sure that this sort of behaviour would instantly result in being on the receiving end of a hissy fit. I was intrigued. Not only because that the guy had done it but also that the girl did not seem to mind at all. The only conclusion I could draw was that Iceland being a small country, everyone sees more of each other and hence there is not so much to talk about, so rather than buggering about with an awkward silence they simply reach for the newspaper, digest the days stories and hey presto there's some new chat, like "Hey, it says here that young Icelandic tennis players are not breaking through on an international level." "Really, that is surprising¿" and so on.

This theory shed a whole new light on a related phenomenon. Iceland must be one of the few countries where it is not considered rude to talk away on the mobile phone or repeatedly text your other friends when you are meeting someone for coffee or a meal. It could not be considered rude because here they go one better than that. Why waste precious social time SMSing your mates when you could be emailing them? Because Reykjavik seems to be one large Wireless Local Area Network you regularly see people out socially multitasking; enjoying a drink, whilst simultaneously taking in snippets of their friends' gossip at the table, texting, and checking their email all in one go. Except maybe they're not checking their email, they're online looking for recent events to discuss.

However this theory collapses when you observe the conversations that take place in the traffic. There seems to be loads to talk about when you could be otherwise driving. And I don't mean between the occupants of one car. Traffic jams in Reykjavik seem to be caused because everyone is chatting away to each other, be it from car to car, or simply having a natter with a passing pedestrian. The rest of the queue of traffic behind does not really mind, they simply find somebody to talk to, and so the traffic jam grows. I was driving down Laugavegur recently, and spotted Michael, a Brit who is working as a consultant here. In a "when in Rome" sort of fashion, I called him over for a yarn, and he immediately came over all British, freaking out, asking where I was going to park, pointing out that I was holding the traffic up. Indeed, Michael, that's the whole idea.

So there you have it. When you see a couple of Icelanders meeting for coffee with apparently nothing to talk about, it's not because there is anything less to say here, it's simply that they have already said it all in the traffic jam outside.

Clement Wilson is a freelance travel writer, currently writing a book on Iceland.